Dim Light

My roomate says some pretty hilarious things sometimes, but only when he really isn't trying. I would give some examples but you would not be able to concentrate on my blog at all after you heard them. He also says some very profound things when he isn't trying. As we were walking up to the cafeteria to get some breakfast one morning, Jake defined my college experience.

It was early, around 7:30, and the overcast sky sent a blanket of opaque light over our campus as we walked up leaf-covered steps. As we approached the familiar path a sudden memory strikes Jake as he notices the dim light coming from the lamp posts off to our right.
    "Its crazy that last night the light coming from those things was super bright and now they aren't doing anything."
I had to stop walking.

At home, my life seemed to have so much purpose. Like God was using me. I felt like i meant something. There is something about a private Christian college that, for me, tends to steal that away. Everywhere around me I see good people doing good things with good smiles on their faces. The opaque light of "goodness" almost seems suffocating at times. If the whole campus is lit up with the things that people are doing, it seems so so easy and tempting to turn my little light off.

As i walked by these little lights, i couldn't help but to mock their eerie light as they struggled to resist my cynical opinions. It wasn't until later that i began to understand why lamp posts even existed.

The easy thing about living in an environment like my home is that it seemed to beg for light. There was an urgency in the way i let my light shine. I felt as if i were on top of a dark hill on a lampstand pointing to the creator of the world. Jesus burned with intensity through me and the radiance of His Father's glory was shown. At college, it seemed for me that this burning intensity became tame and foggy. It seemed omnipresent but not omnipotent. This was where i went wrong. Who am I to suggest that God changes who He is based on where I am? God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Yes, it may be hard to continue shining when it seems meaningless. But God will never be meaningless and our faith must be placed in that. We must trust the things that Jesus says and tells us to do. Why? Because it is good.

That night i returned down the path that had seemed so pathetic to me hours before and i saw what i had forgotten. The path once again looked like home. Full of intensity and mystery. The contrast of the lightness and darkness was so real. So beautiful. My light holds intense meaning regardless to what time of the day it is. And so does yours. It is not for us to decide what has value. The judge of that is God alone.

Love, Frank