The Whole Point.

Could it be possible that these lives that we lead simply cannot contribute to the world of good if our focus is on ourselves?

If one's motivation to do good, is only in the form of bettering their own well-being, life will be miserable. Ultimately, i believe that everyone desires to do good and to experience goodness. It is a natural by-product of being created by a God who only created good things. 

However, when striving for something to produce goodness that could never provide, disappointment always follows. Satan will be forever jealous of Humanity due to his assumption which turned quickly into disappointment. In his lies he attempted to bring himself closer to goodness in a very literal manner. As he slithered into the garden he struck down humanity in order to be be closer to God. This is what caused Satan to be further from goodness than any being in the world. In some sense humanity has been reciprocating the same philosophy in many times in history. "If i build this tower up to God, i will be closer to Him". "If i wear exspensive clothing, pray in the streets, and publically give to the poor, i will be closer to Him". "If i send an army of Christians to kill Muslims who are guarding the holy land, i will be closer to God." Was peace ever found for these naturally desirous people? 

My answer to them is no.

For i know of a God who reaches us in a different way. 

As i impatiently awaited my arrival of the promised land of Eastern University, i expected to be closer to God than at any other time in my life. I saw all of the social justice programs, scholarships, oppurtunities, and sense of adventure originally as a way for me to help the world with the help of God. I slowly turned into a serpent that only wanted what was best for me. My private Christian college became a place where i could feel good about the works i was doing, do it for cheap, have many venues to please myself, and to have fun doing it all. 

Everything became about me just as it had for Satan and i struck down the humanity in myself because of my immature assumption. The truth is it that this life i have was given freely to me. The only way that we can truly live, however, is if i give it back to its maker. The light i have was not given to me to light up the pages of a book so that i can better understand everything going on, for my light's home is on the hill that God chooses to put it on. 

The Light isn't just for me!

He sanctifies me and makes me brighter and purer so that others may see His light and run towards it. This is the whole point. It was never God's motivation to come down from Heaven and to save and sanctify us in order to make us comfy. Neither should it by our motivation. I've tried and it does not work. Instead of focusing so much on myself and what i would benefit from, let my principle driving force be to benefit others with my life. I have a feeling it will indirectly be more beneficial if i just gave up and let God deicde. 


I hope you take this to heart because i would hate to see anyone go through this as i did. I hope you feel the love coming from God that speaks affirmation and simply requires your trust in return. Follow that voice. I say this because those around you depend on the light that will shine from you because of it.

Love, Frank